You Can't Have "Friendship" Without Women

What this bromance has to say about femininity

Ladies, have you ever been in difficult relationships with emotionally unavailable men? I’ve had too many of these weird guys in my life. And I’m not just talking about past boyfriends who couldn’t bring themselves to utter feelings-based statements, from the intense (“I love you”) to the mundane (“How was your day?). For every emotionally stunted guy I ever dated, I’ve had at least five male friends who shut down when I express strong emotions like “I’m so sad,” or “Hey man, that thing you just said was really rude.” Many men struggle with all forms of intimacy, because healthy relationships – either romantic or friendly –  require channeling feelings other than anger or horniness. 

I like men in theory. But these days I just don’t bother with the emotionally weird ones, which is a lot of them. If I attempt to be friends with a guy and he turns standoffish, I stop asking him to hang out. I think this probably happens to their kind a lot, which might be a big reason why we have this so-called “male loneliness epidemic” – the widespread social isolation experienced by an alarming number of men.

What becomes of these men who don’t know how to engage with their own feelings? We see a hilarious and extreme example in Craig Waterman, lead character in the painfully funny and disturbing independent film, FRIENDSHIP. Craig is brilliantly portrayed by Tim Robinson, star and co-writer of the cult sketch comedy Netflix series, “I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson.” I honestly believe Robinson’s comedic style is era-defining genius. There’s a reason why ITYSL has such a devout following, especially among neurodivergent viewers who enjoy weird humor about people who have no social skills. Every ITYSL sketch centers around a character (often played by Robinson) who behaves in such a bizarre, off putting, tone-deaf manner that it makes everyone else in the room wish they would leave. For any viewer who’s ever felt like a big weirdo immersed in a sea of normies, these cringeworthy sketches can sometimes feel pretty relatable. But the combination of Robinson’s over-the-top, elastic facial expressions and his penchant for screaming mid-sentence make his version of “weirdo” both unsettling and very funny. 

FRIENDSHIP screenwriter/director Andre DeYoung wrote this role specifically for Robinson, who brings his classic “odd/confused/angry white guy” magic to the role. Craig is a very basic, middle-class office worker with a wife and teen son who spends his evenings sitting in the same chair, staring at his phone. One day a package is accidentally delivered to his home and his wife Tami (Kate Mara) asks him to take it to their neighbor’s house. This is how Craig meets newly arrived Austin (Paul Rudd). Since Craig and Tami are in the midst of selling their home, Craig assumes this is the most he’ll interact with the guy. But then one evening, Tami tells Craig that Austin has invited him over for a drink and she pushes him to make friends with the guy. Reluctant at first, Craig quickly becomes enamored of Austin’s super-cool personality. Not only is his new neighbor a weatherman on a local news station, he has interesting hobbies, like collecting ancient artifacts. Then Austin takes Craig on a random, late night adventure exploring the city’s sewer system. This leads to them breaking into City Hall, where they drink beers and smoke cigarettes on the roof. Suddenly Craig’s blah existence opens up to Austin’s colorful world that includes mushroom foraging, playing in a punk rock band, and drinking beers with his best bros in the garage. 

Craig (Tim Robinson) and Austin Paul Rudd) forage mushrooms in the dark bromantic comedy FRIENDSHIP

But being nervous and awkward, Craig ends up making a complete ass of himself at the bro hang, to the point that Austin has to tell him they can’t be friends anymore. This leads Craig down a dark, FATAL ATTRACTION style path of obsession, in which he becomes fixated upon replicating their short-lived friendship.

And that is primarily what this film is about – Craig trying (and mostly failing) to be the kind of cool, popular, interesting pal that Austin is, all while coping with this horrible feeling of rejection. He can’t stop thinking about Austin. Yet at the same time, we see how Craig’s marriage with Tami reflects all the emotional defects that make him ill-suited for real friendship. It turns out Craig is an even worse husband than friend, because his capacity to feel anything – passion, curiosity, sympathy – is so stunted. FRIENDSHIP presents a surprisingly thoughtful story about how men create their own loneliness by refusing to delve into these more “feminine” feelings. This inability is exactly why someone like Craig can’t hang with a genuinely cool dude like Austin.